Parenting:When you get to know that you are going to be father?

In my case this moment came right after the first month of our marriage. It was not planned in this way but it was no unintended as well.  My wife wanted to become mother, which was very important thing to have as per my opinion. Husband & wife should be 100% agree on becoming parents which definitely improves chance of pregnancy (psychology always play role, I guess).

What was my reaction? what ideal husband should react?

My response was cold & dubious J  reason is my wife reacts way earlier than it should be J .  She was positive , I was positive..  my mother said no you should wait for more days. J  my wife did not 🙂 , we went to doctor ( well reputed gynaecologist) & they said there is nothing like pregnancy J And written some tablets for menstruation cycle to start.  But even after the 1 week dose , nothing happened so now my wife was confident that she is pregnant & I was worried that because of dose of tablets, my coming child should not be affected. ( Despite being informed by doctor it never affects if you are pregnant) . Wife took a second opinion & results were positive. I was not too sure though. But we made sure when again went to a lady doctor . Now it was confirmed J .

Once you get confirmation that you are gonna be father…..

Once you are sure that it is happening.. you suddenly start thinking about maturity ( it happened to me)  I made sure about medications, I started to think about questioning. I was not afraid to ask question which my wife was forgetting all the time. Usually I do not ask question to doctors much but in this case I made sure everything that whatever she forget I used to ask doctors, nurses and at pharmaceutical stores.

Is it true that first 3 months are important? Why people are not ready to disclose it until it is 3rd month.

According to doctor yes first 3 month anything can happen, very crucial and should not take any risk. Usually that is the reason no one discloses about being parent until 3 months are passed. Doctor explained us scientific reason but forgot what it was J . But What I experienced was I was not only becoming father .. There are 3-4 in my friend circle who were being father and noone disclosed it untill it was 3+ months.

But yes, you need to make sure that your partner should not eat spicy food and also take care about her food intake during first 3 months.

What after 3 months? How many sonography should be there?

You will be able to listen heartbeat of your kid after 3 month . I am not 100% sure but there are around 4-5 sonography during 9 months.  On second sonography I think you will be able to see your child completely.

What to eat and what not to eat during this period?

First of all anything and everything you can eat ( only make sure no junk food, no spicy food). It is advisable that mother eat food in short intake and multiple intake. We have had a so many cheese sandwiches & pizzas during whole 6 months. Also Iron & folic acid tablets should be taken as a supplementary food.

What if any accident happens and your wife falls down?

If anything like this happen do not panic. 99% of the time everything is all right ( yes I have read and aske doctors) . If your wife falls down and stomach got hurt badly only in that case you have to rush to doctor and do sonography about situation. Otherwise, embryo is like cushion & full of support for your kid. It can survive jerks.  But If you are tensed you must visit doctors right away and confirm because in this situation you are not allowed to stay tensed.

Will walking will give normal delivery ? is this true if you keep doing lot of work you have more chance of normal delivery ?

Doctor says it is true, in our case it is wrong.  My wife has not done that much of exercise neither she was that much worried about walking. We were usually going for less than 1 mile walk a day. I was 100% sure we are not going to have normal delivery and I was even mentally prepared. But  we got a baby in less than 20 minutes. Even labor pain did not last long. So, I am not sure how it works but in our case I was lucky enough to have normal delivery and no tension about cesarean and after effects.

But yes doctor advises a lot many physical & mental exercise which are always advisable to do.

If you have any more queries as a male counter part of witnessing being parent let me know.. I would like to share as much as I know.

My Next Few blog post will be on vaccination required for infants. First one week of your baby born ( which is always exciting) and what to expect & when to expect from your baby.

I know people are going to think how male is this much interested in sharing parenthood ( usually you will find female writing or searching about it ) But this is what I am.And I know there are plenty of introvert men out there in the world who are not ready to ask for these kind help from real life friends and who will always search about these issues on Internet. I am trying to help all of them.

Ketan Raval
Working for Let's Nurture Canada,Founder Moncton Cares Rotarian, Planning And Advisory Council Member For City of Moncton, Board of Director for New Brunswick Business Immigrant Association. Global Shaper from World Economic Forum, BNI Member. Investor, Business partners, have successfully failed, have failed fast. Supporter of all good, Friends of many, Son of few, Father of two ,Husband of One. Spending free time in writing, reading, watching sports. Love to spend time with good people instead of smart people